DJ's Grandmother

On August 14th I had a dream about my deceased Grandmother again. I think it had something to do with talking about her with my mother a few days before. My mother told me how my two uncles in Laos wanted to have a new Tad for my Grandparents. Apparently the two uncles are not able to sleep well at night since they are experiencing nightmares lately with their parents being angry with them. I can only wonder if this has to do with a bit of guilt since the two uncles sold all their inheritances to pay for their gambling addiction. I am not a judge or jury on this matter.

After talking to my mother I called my Grand-Mama in Pakse and she told me about how they will have Boun Haw Khao Padab Din in a few weeks. I then told her about my uncles wanting to have some sort of ceremony and a new Tad for my Grandparents. I also told her about not having seen my Grandmother in my dream anymore. I said to my Grand-Mama perhaps I should think of my Grandmother in Lao language and also talk to her before going to sleep at night.

I don’t know if it possible to make yourself dream about something you want to dream about. I am too busy to check on reading materials on dream subject. But for three nights as I was getting ready for bed. I spoke in Lao to my Grandmother and told her that I missed her and if it is possible, please come talk to me. On the third night (August 14th) I had a dream about her in the early hours of (August 15th).

In a dream, I am walking around at a market, somewhere in Laos. There is a water fountain with Buddhist Monks standing next to the fountain. I join a group of people that are waiting to wash their hands and feeling happy to be able to feel a cool water on my hands since it is a hot day.

After washing my hands, I walk around the market and heard a phone ring. A lady picks up a phone which is white with long white cord. Someone on the other end is asking for a girl name Pet (duck). The lady makes an announcement, asking for someone named Pet to come to the phone. After a few minutes, there is no reply. Here I am walking around, looking at various goods at the market and then realized that I have a nickname of little ducky. I raised my hand and said I have a name of duck and went to pick up the phone. Well you know already from the title of the post who is on the other end of the phone. It is my deceased Grandmother.

Grandmother asked me how I am doing and how have I been doing. I told her that I am doing well and is so happy to have heard from her. I said it has been so long since I last saw her and I have missed her so much. I then started to sob like a baby and told her of my frustration of not being able to communicate with her. My Grandmother then told me that she has been trying to contact me through a radio signal 892 but was not able to do so. As she was saying the numbers, I saw them appear in a stream of red numbers through the white cord telephone lines. I told myself to write down the number on the ground so I can remember it. As I am starting to write the number 8 I said to myself there is no need to do that since I can remember the set of numbers when I wake up.

My Grandmother then gave me a five dollar bill. I saw the bill but it was not in green color but more like reddish orange. I told her this is not American US dollar bill since it is not green but I will keep it since it was from her. I then told her how sad I have been for not being able to see her in my dream anymore. Grandmother then said if I missed her so much then I should go live with her. Then all of sudden I heard a man’s voice saying that I should go live with them. I could hear music playing in the ground and what seems to sound like lum. The man has a southern accent and I thought he sounds just like my Papa. I said to myself that can’t be since Papa is alive and living in the US at the moment.

Since I am still young and have so much to live for I told my Grandmother I don’t want to go live with her yet. I told her that I can’t leave Johan behind. Grandmother then said it is not a big deal, Johan can go with me to live with them. The man then said they are more than happy to have both of us living with them on the other side. I recall having told Johan about how my Grandmother wanted me to go live with her the last time. Johan didn’t like the idea and told me the next time I see my Grandmother in a dream to tell her no.

Knowing that Johan doesn’t want to die young and might not like the idea of me saying yes to my Grandmother I told her no. I said “Grandmother, Johan doesn’t want to come live with you yet. I think he wants to have a family first and live in this world until we are old and grey. Why don’t you wait for us and when we are ready, we will let you know and come live with you.” My Grandmother then asked about my mother. She said, “What about your mother, doesn’t she miss me? Maybe I can get her to come live with me”. At this point I was like here we go again with my mother. I then asked my Grandmother to not bother my mother. I told her that my mother is having a life of her own with her husband and children. I asked my Grandmother to wait and that when my mother is ready, she will also let her know whether or not she can go live with her mother.

Before I could get a response from my Grandmother I heard a Church bell ringing and I started to wake up. I told myself not to wake up until I can finish talking to my Grandmother but the 5 minutes long of ringing kept piercing into my head and as hard as I tried to fight it I began to open my eyes.

A few days later I called my mother and told her about the dream. My mother said if she is dead she won’t be with my Grandmother but would be with God. My mother then said if we want to be in heaven with God and her, then we have to follow her footsteps. I think she made that comment partly because she wanted my siblings to attend Church every Sunday with their parents. She then told me that I should attend Church every Sunday too. To my mother if I don’t attend Church every Sunday, then I can’t go to heaven. I don’t know if God is keeping an attendance record and taking roll call like what the professors do at my university. If missing two services meant being kick out from a list to heaven like being kick out from a course, then I won’t be going to heaven.

After talking to my mother I called my Grand-Mama in Pakse as well as an aunt in Vientiane to tell them about a dream. The two aunts I spoke to told me they will call my Grandmother to come eat food during Boun Haw Khao Padab Din ceremony. I then called my mother’s baby sister in the US and told her of the dream. She said to me that her mother is probably reborn now since that is her religion. I then asked her about the boun my uncles want to have for their deceased parents. My aunt said she told my mother to not send money yet to do a boun and that she will do it herself the next time she goes to Laos. She said that it is not a priority and she wouldn’t have a big boun like what her brothers have in mind. Having a simple and proper one is enough she said.

My aunt said since she is a Christian like my mother, she is not going to pay too much attention to her brothers’ fuss and excuse to have a big boun so they can party. I didn’t know what to make of her comment. Religious differences can really split a family into two sides. What side is right, we have to wait and see after death.