Sao Darly

When is it enough to do something for your family members or relative in Laos? I have not asked myself this question yet. Ever since I have found my Grand-Mama late last year and went to Laos to meet her, I have been doing my best to help her. A relative once said you can go to a poor house if you keep on doing something for your relative in Laos. I have never met this relative in person yet but to him he has done enough for his mother in Laos.

I won’t even go into details on how much money I have spent on my Grand-Mama and all my aunts so far. I see what I do as an investment on their future. At times I forget about myself and too eager to help. I could have easily said it is not my responsibility to help them or feed them. After all their own sons and brothers are not doing their parts to help their family. Why should it be my task since my parents were divorced and I have just met these people for the second time in my life?

It would be easy to just walk away and live my own life. After all the only relatives I knew about are on my mother’s side of the family. Most of them are well to do and the rest well I have done my part without even being asked to help. I no longer sent money to those in need once I found out they are addicted to gambling. Here I am a hard working student, not making much in income and sending money to my two uncles so they can throw party on the weekend and play card. I need the money more than they do to pay for my health insurance for start.

Now, with hardly anyone to help my Grand-Mama, I can’t just walk away. I have been sending packages to Laos with clothes, purses, towels, medicine, and other basic things such as lotion, candies, and chocolate. It’s a heavy burden but if I don’t do it, who will then? Even my Papa told me to only help with building a roof for a house and not to build a roof over a rice field. It must be some sort of Lao proverb. I found it to be a simple excuse to not do something. No one is building a roof over a house here. We are talking about feeding and caring for his almost 88 years old mother. Even if I am trying to build a roof over a rice field, it is still possible if all the villagers would pitch in. One can always find an excuse to not do something, rather than to find reason to do something.

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